Early on in my life I knew a few things to be completely, utterly true…
My dad is the smartest guy alive.
It’s called a hot dish (not casserole)
Kids play “Duck, Duck, Gray Duck” (not Duck Duck Goose – weirdos)
And that when you – a Dumke – graduate high school, you go to a good college (usually a private, Lutheran school) graduate, get married and work the same job for 30+ years (usually as a Lutheran pastor or in the field of education)
While the majority of those statements are – in fact – still true to this day, I did learn that there is one that might not be the case.
As a child there were a variety of jobs I wanted to do…
Join the circus
be a Teacher
a Veterinarian
an Actress
be a Mom
a Princess
or a Woodland Veterinarian Princess
But one thing was certain: at the end of the day I knew in my heart that becoming a teacher (and a mom) was what I was designed to do. It was in my blood, I loved children and therefore teaching just felt like the natural extension of myself. (Although being a Woodland Veterinarian Princess would be pretty cool – I picture her like Snow White, they just come to her in the woods)
You see, I have two amazing parents who have set an incredible example of being rooted in a stable job for many years. My dad, being a Lutheran pastor, has been with his same church since 1987 and my mom with her job at the local University since the early 90’s. Both have endured highs and lows through literal decades. They’ve planned well, had stability and will enjoy a retirement in the near future in their early 60’s.
This is also a similar example set for them by their parents. So when the time came that I decided not to continue pursuing my education degree and eventually go on to be self-employed in the midst of the worst recession since the Great Depression – well… it wasn’t an easy decision.
As in most sports, any young athlete looks up to Olympians and Professionals for inspiration and awe. You spend hours and hours working on your skills in hopes to one day be where they are.
I knew early on I wasn’t bound for the Olympics as a gymnast – but it did instill in me an odd sense of when you “hit your peak”
For gymnasts, you peak somewhere between 14 and 18 – that is, if you want to go to the Olympics.
In my mid twenties is was having a sort of “quarter life crisis” about my job and life prospects (let’s be honest, I still am in some ways) But this was when I realized that I had completely mislabeled my sense of “peaking” and had to re-frame that mindset.
There are plenty of ways in which the world tells you what path to take, at what time and in what way. How and when to buy a house, have kids and get the golden retriever with a picket fence.
Trust me, I get it. As a second born it was easy to believe that doing what my sister did, or what my parents have done would bring the best, most respectable result.
(Thankfully this is not anything that my family ever pushed upon me, just the idea or feeling of what I should do)
But taking the plunge to step outside the norm of what I thought I should do and leaping into the possibility of what else might be out there is one of the best decisions of my life.
It has allowed us (hubs and I work full time together from home) to leave at the drop of a hat to watch our friend’s kiddos when her mom has a stroke, take grandparents to appointments in the middle of the day, grab coffee with a friend who just got devastating news and to play board games with each other over lunch.
Certainly our lifestyle isn’t for everyone (and it certainly isn’t something I would have ever dreamed up either!) but I wouldn’t change it – even on the hardest of days.
Finding your own path – heck – blazing your own path doesn’t mean you’re lost. Spending your life in the shadow of a path someone else (intentionally or unintentionally) picked for you could stop you from living out your best, fullest life.
So even though it can be terrifying, it may just be time to step off the clear path, peak through the brush and start charting your own course.
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